Romancing in Saudi Arabia

Love is universal, they say. It can happen to the toughest as also the cruelest. It has no rules, no bars. But not in the Arab world. Read this fascinating account of forbidden romance in the land of the Arabs where the young Saudis are vexed and entranced by love's rules.

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Nader al-Mutairi stiffened his shoulders, clenched his fists and said, “Let’s do our mission.” Then the young man stepped into the cool, empty lobby of a dental clinic, intent on getting the phone number of one of the young women working as a receptionist.

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Enad al-Mutairi, left, shared a light moment with family members including his cousin Yousef al-Mutairi, right, 22, at his grandfather's
house in the village of Om Salem. Like many Saudi families, theirs is large and insular, and they have spent virtually all of their free time together since childhood.

In the West, youth is typically a time to challenge authority. But what stood out in dozens of interviews with young men and women here (Riyadh) was how completely they have accepted the religious and cultural demands of the Muslim world’s most conservative society.

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“If you want to know what your wife looks like, look at her brother,” Nader said in defending the practice of marrying someone he had seen only once, briefly, as a child. That is the traditional Nader, who at times conflicts with the romantic Nader.

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Soon his cellphone beeped, signaling a text message. Nader blushed, stuck his tongue out and turned slightly away to read the message, which came from “My Love.” He sneaks secret phone calls and messages with Sarah. When she calls, or writes a message, his phone flashes “My Love” over two interlocked red hearts. “I have a connection,” he said, quietly, as he read, explaining how Sarah manages to communicate with him.

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Saudi traditions do not allow for romance between young, unmarried couples. There are many stories of young men and women secretly dating, falling in love, but being unable to tell their parents because they could never explain how they knew each other in the first place. One young couple said that after two years of secret dating they hired a matchmaker to arrange a phony introduction so their parents would think that was how they had met.

[This is a part of the 4-article series, Generation Faithful. Read all the articles here: 1, 2, 3 and 4.]